By Henry Jesse

Every crime affects three parties: the victim, the perpetrator, and the community. The victim suffers the harm of the crime. The perpetrator produces his/her own alienation from the community. The community suffers from fear and the loss of confidence. In the criminal justice system these parties are not directly engaged in the pursuit of legal justice. The affected parties speak through their attorneys whose functions are to compensate the victim, punish the perpetrator, and satisfy the criminal legal system. In the criminal justice system the damages to the community’s trust and confidence are largely ignored.

Restorative Justice is a process that engages the victim with the perpetrator and both with the community without intermediaries. The feelings of the victim are heard and honored. The accountability of the perpetrator is defined in terms of restitution and reintegration with the community. The community certifies the restorative process for the court.

The Little Book of Restorative Justice by Howard Zehr suggests ten principles to implement the intentions of Restorative Justice (RJ) programs. These ten principles are listed here with slight clarifying modifications:

1. RJ focuses on the damages done to the persons by the crime rather than on the laws that have been broken.
2. RJ shows equal concern and commitment to victims and offenders, involving both in the process of restoration.
3. RJ works toward restoration of victims, empowering them and responding to the damages done to them.

4. RJ supports offenders, while encouraging them to understand, accept, and carry out their obligations for restoration.
5. RJ recognizes that while the agreed obligations may be difficult for offenders to fulfill, those obligations are not intended to be harmful; they are intended to be restorative and achievable.
6. RJ provides appropriate opportunities for dialogue, direct or indirect, between victim and offender.
7. RJ finds meaningful ways to involve the community and to respond to the community’s bases of crime.
8. RJ encourages collaboration and reintegration of victims and offenders, rather than coercion, isolation, and lingering bad feelings.
9. RJ gives attention to any unintended consequences of RJ actions and programs.
10. RJ respects all parties – victims, offenders, and justice colleagues.

These ten principles have proven effective in repairing the social fabrics of communities that had been damaged by crime. The Conflict Center has been actively teaching RJ principles in Denver Middle Schools, most recently Lake and Horace Mann. The Center has given RJ instruction in other schools and given restoration training in workplaces and family mediations. In addition, the Center is involved with the Denver District Attorney’s Community Accountability Program.

For further information on restorative principles consult The Little Book of Restorative Justice.

Restorative Justice and
The Conflict Center

The restorative justice principles are not only used the criminal justice system. The principles translate into Restorative Discipline. The practice of discipline instead of punishment increases positive interactions between teachers and students, and parents and children. Whether at home, on the playground, or in the school hallway, the same questions are asked and the same process is used between individuals.

Punitive discipline asks these questions:
1. What rule was broken? (Violation)
2. Who broke the rule? (Responsibility)
3. How should they be punished? (Resolution)

Restorative discipline asks these questions:
1. What happened and what was the harm? (Violation)
2. Who is responsible? (Responsibility)
3. What needs to be done to restore the harm? (Resolution)

Have you ever said the following in attempting to resolve conflict?

“You know that what you did is not allowed in this house”

“Because I told you to / Because I told you so”

With special thanks to David Mrakitsch of the Denver DA’s Office Community Justice Unit for providing a CAB photo and this outline. To learn more about Restorative Justice or to request help with a restorative justice process or training call Nicole Forward or Vickie Samland at The Conflict Center: (303) 433-4983.

Youth Spotlight
By Israel Nunez

Alanis is 4 years old. She likes to play and work in her backyard peace garden with her mother and father in the summer time. This summer she planted tomatoes, chiles, and calabazitas . Her favorite are the tomatoes with a little sprinkle of salt on them, she loves to eat them right off the vine.

Alanis also enjoys going to see the goats that live at the end of her street. She visits them on a daily basis. Her peace work involves visiting elderly neighbors like Lou. Lou has to have an oxygen tank with him at all times. Lou takes life an hour at a time, not a day at a time. Barb and Lauren are her next door neighbors that she loves to visit because they have a tiny, skinny, sweet poodle named Half-Pint which loves to be held by Alanis.

Alanis’s favorite peace work is sharing laughter with her friends, Genevieve, Dante, and Patrick. She shares stories and toys with them, and they do the same.

Beads for Peace
Join us for this annual FUN RAISER at TCC!
Friday, December 12, 12 - 7pm and
Saturday, December 13, 10am to 4pm

Mars Creations offers Beaded Jewelry and goodies at special holiday wholesale prices. Proceeds are going to the peacework of the Conflict Center.

Familia! Amigos! Vecinos! Invite Family, Friends and Neighboors!

Madame Solutions
Goes to the Movies

Dear Madame Solutions:
I watched the movie Anger Management with some confusion about the way people acted and the violent language in it. Instead of managing their anger, people seemed to be making each other more and more angry throughout the film. Were Conflict Center teachings anywhere in this movie? Searching

Dear Searching:
Don't spend much time investigating this one. What a misnamed movie! At every turn people deceive each other and overact angry behaviors in implausible situations. The goal was comedy, not skill building.

Perhaps you noted the stereotypical characters. We are all better off when we see others as individuals, not reflections of our own prejudices. People who take nonviolence seriously know how to laugh at human frailty and at themselves. Laughing at others is unfortunately acceptable humor in our society. How healthy is that?

If you do care to look under the superficial plot, past the language and past the base jokes, you will discover a number of well disguised anger management skills in the movie. Did you notice that the nutty doctor, Buddy, helps Dave consider a variety of strategies? At The Conflict Center we encourage brainstorming, thinking out of the box and finding new ways to approach situations. Remember, if what you are doing isn't working, try something else!

Buddy also encourages Dave to be observant about his anger and his actions. When we are paying attention to our angry reactions, we can decide whether or not we are making helpful choices. Acknowledging anger and addressing it productively are powerful skills.

And what about taking others’ actions too personally? Wow, was Chuck something! No one could breathe without his thinking they were insulting him. Can you imagine always being on guard for what others are doing to you? Others’ actions are not always about you or me.

Finally, watching the stresses and absurdities in Dave's urban life reminds us that we need to take breaks. Perhaps an outrageously boisterous version of "I Feel Pretty" while picnicking in the park would do us all some good. Lighten up, let loose, take a break, laugh a lot.

Searching for substance in the movie Anger Management is a challenge. Spend your time wisely by searching for the best anger management tools you can find. You are the sleuth.

To submit a question to Madame Solutions: Email your question to info@conflictcenter.org with “MadameSolutions” in the subject line.
Or, mail your question to: Madame Solutions, 4140 Tejon St., Denver, CO 80211

Parent to Parent
by Tammy Sherwood

Teaching a young child about feelings builds a strong foundation to deal with problems as she/he grows. Here are some suggestions on how to begin affirming your child's sense of her/himself through identification of feelings. Learning to recognize feelings will provide a foundation for cooperation, empathy, respect and self-control.

Label emotions

Infants: When your baby expresses emotions, (sad, happy, mad, scared) gently label that emotion for him. "Oh, you look mad that I left you in the crib," "Oh, what a happy face you have." The younger baby does not understand the exact meaning yet, but will hear your approval and learn to associate certain words with his feelings.

Toddlers: A toddler will be able to understand the meaning of simple emotions. She may even be able to repeat what you say: "Baby is sad." Help children learn by identifying their emotions and stating what you see. "Sarah looks scared. Do you want mommy?" "I know you are mad because you want that cookie. Sometimes mommy gets mad when she can't get what she wants either."

School-aged: Help your child expand his feelings vocabulary. The broader his vocabulary, the easier it will be for him to adequately express what he is feeling. This will help reduce feelings of frustration that often occur when a child feels he cannot communicate what is going on inside.

5th Annual Youth Peace Leadership Conference

More than 500 students and faculty attended the 5th Annual Youth Peace Leadership Conference on October 21st. Participants came from the Denver metro area and all along the Front Range, from Fort Collins to Colorado Springs, Grand Junction and places in between. Kaiser Permanente provided entertaining, thought-provoking keynotes who challenged and amused the audience.

Conference sessions included new topics such as grief, safe touch, gun violence, and Nobel Peace Laureates. The most popular sessions were Issues involving cultural diversity, peer mediation, and communication.

This was the first year of the peace-builder award for a student who is doing outstanding peer mediation work in their school. Brandon Heiney from Hygiene Elementary School won the elementary award and Alejandro Castano from North Arvada Middle School won the middle school award.

Schools and students need this conference as a way to connect, rejuvenate, learn new skills and continue their important work. We hope to see even more students turn out next year, as we make some exciting changes to the conference. If you’re interested in helping to plan this event next year, please contact The Conflict Center.

Star Volunteer

Do you need a really good community mediator?

How about someone who is handy with a hammer and other tools?

Someone who can read a budget and knows finances?

A villain for your melodrama?

Well, we have just the person for you: our Star Volunteer Bill Murphy.

Yes, Bill is all of those things and has brought his many talents to The Conflict Center. Like many of you, Bill was one of Myra Isenhart’s “recruits.”

Bill was in the process of deciding about taking early retirement from U.S. West, where he had spent his career and held senior management positions, when he took Myra’s first class on “Communication Skills for Change Agents.” At the end of the class, he mentioned to Myra that he was concerned about not having enough structure and purpose if he retired. That was all it took. A meeting with Myra and Liz Loescher and he was hooked, becoming a member of the TCC board. His considerable corporate skills and experience were just what the board needed.

Bill remains on the Board today and serves as Treasurer and chair of the Finance Committee. He is on the Building Committee, the Board Development Committee and is Secretary to the Board. He now brings not only corporate experience but also important historical background about the work of TCC from his years of involvement. He has a strong sense of the TCC vision and the practical background to make it happen.

Though Bill is retired from U.S.West, “retired” is really an oxymoron when applied to him. He has done extensive mediation for Denver through its community mediation projects. He specializes in neighborhood disputes and working with groups to solve community problems.

What about work with the hammer and tools? Like all good board members, Bill helps out wherever he is needed, and sometimes replacing a railing, repairing a garbage disposal, installing kitchen appliances or straightening a tether ball pole - all important tasks that contribute to the functioning of our Center.

And finally, the melodrama part…well, to see what role Bill will be playing next, maybe you’ll just have to watch for the November performances of the melodrama group in Nederland. Whatever it is, all the roles he plays at TCC make him an outstanding Star Volunteer.

Volunteer News

For the past three years, Mary Zinn-Stewart, volunteer extraordinaire, has been our Volunteer Coordinator. Now Mary has decided to focus her talents and energy in different ways for TCC. As the Volunteer Committee analyzed what Mary does, we realized that it’s impossible to replace her with just one volunteer! Instead, we’ll spread the tasks out over several committees and volunteer groups. We hope that our new structure will offer great new opportunities to our World’s Best Volunteers. Both Mary Ann Tarpey, Volunteer Program Administrator, and Martha Fulford, Volunteer Intake Coordinator, will be continuing in their current critical roles in the program.

Volunteer Opportunities

• VOLUNTEER GUIDES PHONE TEAM:
  Would you like to help TCC from your home? Do you enjoy talking to new people on the phone? As a Volunteer Guide, you’ll visit with prospective volunteers, determine their interests, and assist them in getting to a Volunteer Introduction. Some members of the committee will keep volunteers informed about activities and opportunities. You’re invited to join volunteers Emily Dangel, Isabel Alvarado-Bailey, Cary Leher, Susana Anderson, Sherry Anderson, and Virginia Vobejda.

• VOLUNTEER INTRODUCTION TEAM:
  Are you enthusiastic about telling the TCC story? Do you enjoy sharing your experiences volunteering with TCC? Can you use PowerPoint? Five or six times a year, we introduce prospective volunteers to our work through a Volunteer Introduction. You can join Sue Mitchell, Sabrina Speight, Margie Carrasco, and Margie Hartman in planning these welcoming and informative sessions.

• VOLUNTEER PROGRAM COORDINATOR AND VOLUNTEER REQUEST COORDINATOR:
  The backbone of our new structure! Two organized volunteers will work with staff to place other volunteers in our programs, and fill staff and committee volunteer requests. These positions give you an inside view of the wonderful work we are doing. Each position will probably require 4-5 hours a week with some extra hours in the beginning to familiarize yourself with the systems and process. You may work from our volunteer office (fully equipped), from your home, or a combination that suits your schedule. Some weekday availability will be necessary to coordinate with staff.

  To become part of this exciting new venture, to get more information or to explore other opportunities, email Sue Mitchell.

Community Outreach
By Laura Naranjo, Community Liaison

The fall and winter seasons at The Conflict Center are bustling with community events: Ambassador of Peace, Youth Peace Leadership, Employee Combined Campaigns, School, Agency, and Volunteer Resource Fairs. Among these, the North Denver Violence Prevention Committee hosted a very special Community Café at TCC.

Community Cafés have made the local news in providing a forum for public education concerns. The Cafés are hosted by the Northwest Denver Education Collaborative who, with the Regis University Institute on the Common Good, are creating a sustainable community infrastructure to support public schools. This process hopes to:

Many thanks to our
2003 Ambassador of Peace Sponsors

2003 Platnium Sponsor
Zinn-Cohen Consortium

2003 Bronze Sponsors
Coors Brewing Company
Jane and Bill Hays
Holme Roberts and Owen LLP
Roger Nittler & Co, Inc.
Tower One Construction

View our current class schedule