Letter From the Director

May 19, 2002

Dear Friends,

Well, the time has come. This is my last newsletter as the Executive Director of our beloved Conflict Center! It has been an amazing experience, a great ride, being in this position for 15 years.

When I started this organization, I would meet people socially and they would ask what I do, and I would answer, “I’m a conflict manager.” Inevitably they would say, “What is that?” or, “You counsel who?” Today, all of us know what a conflict manager is… and is becoming.

The field is growing and developing everyday. Example: a major corporation here in Denver, putting in a holistic alternative dispute resolution (ADR) program across the company with both internal and external mediation at all levels and conflict management prevention programs for parents and staff. Example: 150 schools in Colorado have done yearlong conflict management programs for all staff, students and some parents. Example: community and neighborhood groups choosing facilitated meetings or mediation. Example: families coming for parent-teen conflict management classes or a family mediation.

I wish to report to all of you The Conflict Center is in great shape. I am resigning in June. I will consult with the new director during the summer. I will move to Atlanta, Georgia in September. The Board will choose the new director within the next week, s/he will start in June, the field will continue to grow and evolve…. and peace will come.

Thanks for your support with time and treasure, thank you for an amazing job!

Shalom,
Elizabeth Loescher
Executive Director

Congratulations to Elizabeth Loescher

Liz has been named by the Denver Newspaper Agency and the Women’s Foundation of Colorado to receive the 2002 Unique Woman of Colorado Award. The award will be presented on Tuesday, May 28, at 7:30 p.m. at the Boettcher Theater.

This award pays tribute to women who have had a special and unique impact on Colorado. These are women that have left indelible marks on the community through leadership, courage and determination. They have set their goals high and used their influence to create a more equitable society for Colorado’s women and girls.

Congratulations to Liz on this prestigious honor and our kudos for living up to these incredible standards.

Our Wish List

We are in need of a Power Point projector , which we would use in presentations introducing TCC to volunteers and supporters. Karen Brich is creating a Power Point presentation for the Volunteer Introduction meetings. Who knows the many ways in which it could ultimately be used at TCC.

Compassionate Communication
With Marshall Rosenberg
international author and peacemaker

Saturday, May 25th
9:30 am - 4:30 pm
A Compassionate Alternative
to Discipline
Sliding scale
At the door $125 - $195
In advance $90 - $150
Group rates available
Call Sherry Sherman 303-741-5085
Or David Shindoll 303-399-5170
E-mail: sher22@post.harvard.edu

Our families teach us many lessons about how to manage conflict and anger. Some of these lessons are positive and effective, some are not. Our job as individuals is to choose those lessons that work best to create win-win solutions to problems and build more positive relationships. It is always helpful to set and follow rules for fair fighting. Talk about these rules when both sides are calm and able to listen to each other. Learn new skills to assist you in setting and following productive guidelines. Here are some basic guidelines to assist in those difficult moments:

Do’s:

• Do cool off before you discuss difficult issues.
• Do keep the discussion focused on the problem.
• Do listen to the other person before you speak.
• Do consider the value of the other person’s ideas and views.
• Do ask questions gently.
• Do offer an apology if needed.
• Do compromise if it is an issue that is not so important to you.
• Do ask a neutral third party to mediate if you are really stuck.

Don’ts

• Don’t use physical force to solve problems.
• Don’t bring up old wounds or unrelated issues.
• Don’t interrupt, criticize or yell at the other person.
• Don’t ridicule or belittle the other person’s ideas and views.
• Don’t ignore, pout or give the silent treatment.
• Don’t fight about something that’s not important to you, just to win.
• Don’t talk behind someone’s back.

Remember, there does not have to be a winner and loser. Try to find outcomes that are based on common needs and goals. Remember that your family members are your best allies. Your spouse, kids, parents and siblings are the people you care about most. It is worth investing your time, patience and understanding in order to make these very important relationships stronger and more enjoyable.

How to Practice Peace at Home
Sometimes it seems like there are a lot of rules for kids. Why do you think there are so many rules? Adults make rules for kids to keep them safe, teach responsibility and create peaceful families, schools and communities. Here are some things you can do to show that you are a safe, responsible and peaceful kid:

• No hitting, punching or name-calling.
• Don’t pout when you don’t get your way.
• Find ways to cool off.
• Respect other’s feelings and opinions.
• Apologize if you lose your cool.
• Find someone to talk to about your feelings.

Say hello to the youngest Friends of The Conflict Center: (from left) Susan Drumm, TCC Board member and her son Charlie; Meg Ryan Sippel, Chair of the Friends Membership Committee and her son Mark; and graphic artist Ellen Stark with her daughter Emma. We hope you will renew your membership or consider becoming a Friend.

The party room filled with enthusiasm as volunteers were recognized for their contribution to TCC and the community. Mary Ann Tarpey reported that 190 volunteers donated 9,609 recorded hours equaling a total contribution of $144,135. Incredible!

Congratulations to TCC Volunteers of the Year for 2001:

Sue Mitchell (left) was honored for her contributions to TCC’s educational programs, committees, many events and for her participation in the Reading for Peace program.
Martha Fulford (right) received kudos for her efforts on various TCC events, including co-chairing the Reducing the Cost of Conflict in the Workplace Conference, assisting with administration of the Volunteer Program and helping with grant reporting.

Interns and AmeriCorpVISTA members Tiffani Baldwin, Matthew Kneale, Thomas Laigaard, Pete Lauch, Colleen Mahoney, Julianne Mitchell, Brandi Rieger, Rachel Rudeen, Robin Salmon and Shanna Torkelson were honored for their remarkable and generous contributions to The Conflict Center's work. Pictured above, are social work students, Shanna Torkelson, DU (left) and Thomas Laigaard, from Denmark (right) with Supervisor, Ronnie Weiss, MSW (center).

Isabel Alvarado Bailey single-handedly designed our wonderfully colorful invitation inserts, certificates and programs and coordinated her hardworking Appreciation Party Committee (above from left to right) Mary Zinn-Stewart, Volunteer Coordinator, Martha Fulford, Emily Dangel, Sue Mitchell, Heather Polak, Mary Ann Tarpey, Sidni Lamb, Cary Leher, Isabel Alvarado Bailey, Liz Loescher.

Elizabeth Loescher (left) received a special award from Board Co-Presidents Vicki Braunagel (center) and Jay McCarthy (right) for her many volunteer hours over the past 15 years. In addition to her official duties as Executive Director, Liz has volunteered an incredible number of hours to secure the organization's stability and standing in the community and has been a constant, enthusiastic promoter of TCC's Volunteer Program, giving the program a vital and critical role.

Special thanks to our Youth Volunteers (from left to right): Sean Underwood, the caterer from The Coffee Roaster, Laura Tilley, Kevin Underwood and Mike Stewart (not pictured). Also, we are grateful to US Relocation for their generosity with the program paper, printing and assembly as well as to The Coffee Roaster for catering at a price we could afford. Thanks, too, to our generous photographers Woody Hirsh and Martha Fulford.

Volunteer Opportunities

• Family Peace Day for Warren Village, Friday, May 31, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., at Cheesman Park. Join us for all or part of the event.
• Office Reception, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday evenings, 5 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Direct people to classes.
• Help Our Garden Grow, tend The Conflict Center’s Peace Garden throughout the summer months. Times are flexible.
• Work in The Conflict Center library, processing new and returned books and making phone calls for overdue materials.
• Youth Peace Leadership Conference, Tuesday, October 22, at Regis University, with attendance of over 500 students and 100 adults.
• Peace Connections, newsletter for Playground Conflict Managers. Assistance will be needed in the fall for the 2002/2003 school year.
• Reading for Peace, Thursday afternoons at elementary schools throughout the Denver metro area. Save the dates for next school year.

Contact Mary Zinn-Stewart at 303-433-4983 to sign up or find out more.

Special Thanks

Many thanks to Dr. Sharon Cornelius and Preemptive Workforce Solutions for being the Corporate Sponsor for TCC’s 4th Annual Conference on Reducing the Cost of Conflict in the Workplace and our sincere apologies for our omission in the last newsletter.

Many Thanks to our
Mystery Donor

Last month a woman named Michelle dropped off some office supplies that were collected from a scavenger hunt. We did not get her name and address so we could send a thank you, so we are thanking her here for the following items:

• white and colored copy paper
• phone message pad books
• dry erase markers
• loose leaf paper
• easel

Michelle, please contact us if you see this notice, so we can learn more about your efforts and thank you personally for your generosity.

Volunteer Introduction Meeting

Learn about all of TCC's programs and the many, varied volunteer opportunities that are available.

Tuesday, June 4, 2002
3:00 - 5:00 PM at TCC

or call Mary Zinn-Stewart at 303-433-4983 ext.27 to sign up or to arrange an alternative time.

Volunteer Training

ANGER MANAGEMENT
Monday, May 13, 2002
6:30 - 8:30 PM at TCC

Volunteers Cary Leher and Mary Zinn-Stewart will present this free-to-volunteers skill building class as part of TCC's ongoing volunteer training. Call 303-433-4983 to reserve a space.

Mark Your Calendar...
This year’s event will honor Elizabeth Loescher with the 2002 Ambassador of Peace Award Ambassador Swanee Hunt, PhD, Chair of the Women and Public Policy Program at the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard will be the keynote speaker on global peace issues.

Don’t miss this exciting event!

Thursday, October 3, 2002, 6:00 - 9:00 p.m.
Doubletree Hotel, Quebec & Martin Luther King Boulevard

For more information contact Ronnie at 303-433-4983 or by e-mail.