By Virginia Vobejda, Editor

With the arrival of spring and preview of summer, many families are planning their vacation activities. A change in routine can bring adults, parents, kids and teachers some much needed relief. It will also bring conflict.

Remember that there is both good and bad stress associated with vacation time. The good stress (known as eu-stress) is the kind that keeps you from sleeping the night before a trip; it motivates us to plan ahead and reconfirm all of our arrangements. The other stress happens when things don’t go as planned or negative events occur…such as car trouble or discord with a relative or longtime friend.

Here is our simple R-E-L-I-E-F plan (a jump start to brainstorming) to make your next vacation more like a true vacation:

• R- Realistic: Be realistic in your summer and vacation planning. Try not to take on too many activities. If this is a pattern for you, cut back your schedule by one third to one half.
• E- Expect some conflict: Talk with your family or travel mates in advance about how you can manage differences on your trip. Remind folks along the way to stop and brainstorm solutions when they get stuck. With a little creativity, everyone can have more fun.
• L- Lighten up: Vacations and summer breaks are supposed to be fun, right? Many folks find themselves trying to pack in way too many activities. If you catch yourself thinking of more things to get done during your break, STOP. You may be putting unnecessary stress on you and those around you. In order to lighten up and have FUN, you’ll need to go back to the first point: be realistic. Intentional: Make your time away from work (and with others) intentional. Think of simple ways to make your time special rather than exhausting. Plan down time to balance activity time. Completing a restful vacation will feel much more
• I-rewarding than a “try to pack it all in” vacation.
• E- Eliminate Overlap: We’re talking about establishing healthy boundaries between you and your job. Do you really need that laptop or cell phone during your family time? Although folks may not say anything, it may actually cause conflict between you and your family or friends. This is a good time to let go and let someone else handle work stress for a while.
• F- Fall Back Early: Transition time after a vacation and before returning to work is critical. It can reduce conflict within yourself, with family members and with friends. Plan to return at least a day early to ensure you have time to rest from traveling, catch-up on laundry and prepare to start back to work. Post vacation blues are normal for everyone. Build in a little down time for reflection and transition.

Letter From the Executive Director
Michelle Binkowski

Dear friends in peacemaking,

I want to share with you how The Conflict Center is faring in unpredictable times. Like so many other non-profits, we’ve had to really focus on our mission and the means to achieve it. We are able to continue our mission for the following reasons:

Our INCREDIBLE team of staff members. They have voluntarily donated unpaid leave and reduced work hours to help us meet our budget. They also endured the intensely difficult challenge of letting go of two part-time employees. Our staff continues to do more work with creative resourcing.

Our AMAZING volunteers have been increasing their commitment (over 12,204 recorded hours in 2002). This includes the work of the Board of Directors, who are also volunteers. The value of these hours extends by 20% our operating budget. Volunteer involvement increased at the same time the economy started to decline. What a gift to our community!

YOUR support. Individual donor support has increased compared to a year ago and your membership truly helps us achieve our mission to reduce violence in our communities. We can not thank you enough for this support. You make peace possible!

CONTINUED Foundation support. This has been a huge means for The Conflict Center to fulfill its mission. Foundations give as much as they can with the understanding that community needs do not typically decrease, especially in difficult times. For this generosity we are truly fortunate.

Collaborative OPPORTUNITIES are increasing. The Conflict Center and many other non-profits are working to build stronger relationships and develop improved, efficient and more effective work with each other. This is walking our talk by “solving the problem and building the relationship.” Or in this case, “building relationships to solve problems.”

We have a RENEWED focus. At The Conflict Center, our mission is central to our peacemaking values. We believe that the need to help folks manage conflict and anger is greater now more than ever. This has been our focus and seems to be more clear than ever before.

This is where we are and I believe it is right where we need to be. I will keep you posted.

Madame Solutions
(on Workplace Conflict)

Dear Madame Solutions:
My 3rd grader came home from a 9 News Health Fair with a No Stingers sticker. He said, “This means for one day I’m trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings, use mean words or fight.” Do we, as parents, call 9 News for more information like this? Why isn’t this “good news” on our local TV?
Signed: We Do Have a Cussing Jar at Home

Dear Cussing Jar at Home:
Yes, Yes, YES! Always encourage the media to present good news and thank them when they do. Write, call and email! Encourage your friends to do the same. Consumers have influence because the media’s bottom line is getting your attention!
Want more good news on TV and in our community? Remember this – whenever you open your wallet – every dollar you spend is a vote. Purchase products you want more of in our community. Avoid products you don’t want increased.

You can start by avoiding violent games – video games, paint ball, or laser tag. Don’t pay to see people exploding on the screen in front of you. Action films influence who we are and how we behave! Don’t look the other way. As long as we purchase violence, it will be produced.

How much are each one of us willing to do to change our culture by changing our individual choices?

And about that No Stingers sticker your 3rd grade friend brought home… Wouldn’t it be great if we all wore a reminder sticker every day! Wear a sticker, talk about how we want to behave and make choices that aren’t mean and don’t hurt others’ feelings. As Israel Nunez, a Conflict Center educator, reminds us – Every Day is Peace Day! Keep on walking the talk! Mme. Solutions

To submit a “workplace conflict” related question to Madame Solutions: Email your question to info@conflictcenter.org with “MadameSolutions” in the subject line.
Or, mail your question to: Madame Solutions, 4140 Tejon St., Denver, CO 80211

Parent to Parent

When I started the Anger Management class at North Lincoln, I was beyond stressed and very angry at times. I am a single mom with 2 daughters, ages nine and six. I used to raise my voice at my children for no reason. When driving in the car, all the little things got to me. And I was a person who could not say “NO.”

Well, let me tell you how my life changed for the better after those classes. I learned how to handle situations rationally by recognizing the scale of things that bother me. Now I know that I should do something like remove myself from the room, exercize, or maybe clean the house.

I bought three happy face hacky sacks. Now, when another driver makes me mad, I just turn the hacky sacks around to sad or angry faces. So far, I have not been upset while driving. My confidence level has improved, my daughters help with chores, driving is not a big issue anymore, and most of all I can say “NO.”

I have taken the Denver Public Schools Paraprofessional test to become a Teacher’s Aide, and have been through many interviews. Before anger management classes, I never felt good about going to job interviews. The key is to Do Your Best! I want to say thanks again to Shay and The Conflict Center for changing my life and helping me to understand my anger levels and control them.

Thank you, Kelly Zolman

For more information on our Classes, click here.

Youth Spotlight
By Dustin Olde, Youth Programs Coordinator

Mat Ortega has been volunteering at The Conflict Center for a year and a half. Like many of the youth who come here, he found a personal connection between himself and the staff. In particular he notes that Program Associate Israel Nunez not only taught skills in his class, but formed a more lasting relationship. “(The Conflict Center) is a good environment with a lot of people I like to hang out with,” Mat explained. Mat has gone above and beyond the role of sideline participant, and is currently assisting the facilitation of classes. “I explain things to the youth; give them help on their papers. I also help set up the class.” In addition to the classes, Mat spoke publicly at the 2000 Ambassador of Peace dinner and to a college class at Metro, outlining the things he learned at TCC.

Although Mat’s maturity belies his fifteen years of age, he admits that for fun he enjoys, “hanging out at my sister’s house and playing with my nephews.” It is with the help of youth like Mat, who role-model positive behavior, that the staff at TCC continue to feel inspired and motivated.

Kid's Corner
By Virginia Vobejda

Word Search: Find as many words as you can to help you put more FUN into your weekends, vacations and summer:

Volunteers Celebrate!

The sixth annual Volunteer Appreciation Party was celebrated on Sunday, April 27, 2003 at The Conflict Center. The festivities gave attendees an opportunity to honor our special volunteers, to meet other volunteers who live in their area, to hear about current TCC activities and to munch on some delicious cookies. The Volunteer Committee wishes to thank all the people who gave their time to make the afternoon such a success.

TCC Staff share the Top Ten Reasons (with a few extra)
Volunteers Make a Difference at TCC!

The Volunteer Committee celebrates its hard work. L to R: Sue Mitchell, Mme. Solutions (aka Mary Zinn-Stewart, Volunteer Coordinator), Cary Leher, Martha Fulford (Volunteer Program Intake Coordinator), Mary Bediz, and Elsie Polak (party committee assistant). Missing but not forgotten is Isabel Alvarado-Bailey, chair of the event.

Star Volunteers Awarded

Many volunteers were nominated by people who work with them and who appreciate their efforts. Some of these volunteers are very visible in their work; others work behind the scenes to keep everything moving along. All of them make major contributions to our work and mission. The people recognized are stars among stars and examples of the kind of dedication we have received from all of you over the years.

Mme. Solutions recognizes Michelle McCandless, one of this year’s Star Volunteer interns. Not pictured is Ellen Stark honored for her contributions in the areas of graphic design and production. For five years Ellen has created most of the graphic images that make The Conflict Center’s printed materials so attractive and professional. Congrats to Ellen and Michelle!

An important award went to our technical volunteers who provide soft- and hardware assistance. Pictured here are Michelle Binkowski (Executive Director) and Ron Ludwig (Manager of Operations) presenting to Milt Hetrick and Vickie Samland accepting on behalf of Bob Samland and Rob Panter.

This year three community service interns were honored. Pictured is Shay Bright (Manager of Programs) presenting the award to Brandi Rieger. Not pictured are Chris Hamilton and Kate Lucas.

Terri Pakiser, 16, has spent her past two summers and other free time at TCC. In 2002, she volunteered over 300 hours. Her youth award was presented by Heather Polak (r– Administrative Assistant).

Volunteer Opportunities

• "Volunteer Introduction", Tuesday, June 17, 6-8pm.
  Call 303-433-4983 and ask for the volunteer office to sign up.
• Training for Volunteers: "Anger Management". Monday, September 8, 6-8pm.
  Call 303-433-4983 and ask for the volunteer office to register.
• Assist Family Classes. Assist in Building Bridges (youth ages 12-18) and Strengthing Foundations (youth ages 5-11) on Thursday evenings. Your commitment would be four consecutive Thursdays, as these classes run for a month. Interested? Contact Dustin Olde at 303-433-4983.
  
• Join a Committee. Our exceptional Volunteer, Friends Membership, Garden Tour and Ambassador of Peace Award Event Committees are looking for new members. Call Mary at 303-433-4983 to get involved!
  
• Help Plan: We are planning now fo rthe Ambassador of Peace Award Dinner (October 16, 2003), our largest fundraising event. Please call Ronnie Weiss to offer your time and talents: 303-433-4983.
  

Upcoming Events

The “3rd Annual Enchanted Gardens of Northwest Denver” garden tour invites visitors to stroll among some of the most lush and fragrant residential gardens of the metro area on Saturday, June 7, 2003, from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m. This year’s event will feature Fung Shui, Xeriscape, container gardening and much more. Meet more than a dozen local gardeners and learn their secrets to beautiful flowers, foliage and landscaping. This year’s tour emphasizes low water techniques.

This spectacular event benefits The Conflict Center and is sponsored by the Zinn Cohen Consortium, Fuller Town & Country Properties, Rosa Linda’s Café, Feng Shui Gardeners, Influence of Denver XV, Metro Frameworks, Perfect Petal and a number of other businesses and organizations. Tickets are $10 and can be purchased in advance or on the day of the event. Gift certificates are available and make great Mother’s Day or Father’s Day gifts.

Volunteer Introduction
Tuesday, June 17, 6-8pm
The Conflict Center

Volunteer Anger Management Training
Monday, September 8, 6-8pm
The Conflict Center

Ambassador of Peace Award Presentation
Thursday, October 16

Community Outreach
By Laura Naranjo, Community Liaison

“It is my deepest belief that only by
giving our lives do we find life”
-Cesar Chavez

The Conflict Center celebrated the life of a great peace leader, Cesar Chavez, in a second annual community event March 31 in Northwest Denver. Hundreds turned out to celebrate with community awards, speakers, poets and music. We shared the Conflict Center’s mission with elected officials, local press and statewide supporters.

Cesar Estrada Chavez was born March 31, 1927 in Yuma, Arizona. He grew up after living on his family’s farm to become a Community Outreach migrant farm worker in California and founded the United Farm Worker’s Union of the 1960’s. Cesar Chavez embraced Gandhi’s nonviolence principles and civil rights leader Rev. Martin Luther King in his lifelong struggle for justice. He fasted for peace, determined that the cause for social change remain nonviolent. Chavez sought dignity for farm workers and their families until his peaceful death on April 23, 1993. His family was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1994.

Scores of families work in migrant farm worker camps in rural Colorado. Many families of farm workers live in the Denver area, lending strong support to the ongoing work for justice. Conflict Center staff greeted supporters, encouraged new interests in our work and gained recognition for our community contributions. We thank the Cesar Chavez event committee for inviting our organization to join in this commemoration!

View our current class schedule