By Virginia Vobejda, Editor and Michelle Binkowski

We are all experiencing elevated stress in our daily lives with the rise of international conflict and the decrease in the economy. At work, many people have lost job security or have lost their jobs. Work environments are changing constantly, with organizations downsizing and struggling to stay afloat. Many people are worried about potential job loss and salary decreases. The dynamics between co-workers can become volatile when operating out of fear. Seeing people “choosing sides” and “negative gossip” can keep everyone on edge at work. When this occurs, there is often a lack of knowledge of what is really going on—the real and true information of the state of the organization.

If this is a theme you are experiencing in the workplace, there is something you can do to help. The first step is to encourage and support inclusive dialog. By helping everyone feel they are “in the loop” of information will help calm fears and encourage people to be a part of the team and the solution. It helps to convey to team members that you are approachable and open to direct and honest communication about the current situation. With increased anxiety, “focusing on the positives” is another way to balance a conflicting situation. Positive and negative communication begins with the words we choose as well as the actions we take. As Margaret Wheatley suggests, those who focus on effective communication and building working relationships will most likely survive times of rapid change and chaos. This is necessary to work through tumultuous times. So, pull together with your co-workers and help build your team!

Letter From the Executive Director
Michelle Binkowski

Dear Community, As we progress into this tumultuous year, it is more and more difficult to predict the future. In leading this organization, I won’t pretend to have all the answers. These are alarming and confusing times. What I do know is the best way to get through rapid change and chaos is to pull together. That is exactly what we are doing at The Conflict Center. Individually, problem solving can get blocked with fear. Collectively, we are finding solutions to continue our work in challenging times. YOU are a huge part of these solutions! At the end of January, our year end appeal results indicated that individual contributions have increased compared to a year ago. At the same time, The Conflict Center’s staff have increased their direct time with serving clients (by an overall average of 6%). Additionally, our number of volunteers doing the work of The Conflict Center has increased to 180. These are all signs that we are pulling together to continue our mission of reducing violence in our communities. I truly believe we need each other now more than ever. I want to thank you for your time, dedication, and contributions! Together we can manage this situation and reduce violence in the world, one person, family, school and organization at a time.

Meet a Member of the Board of Directors

Sue Mitchell has been involved with The Conflict Center since 1999, when she served as an intern while completing her Alternative Dispute Resolution Certificate at the University of Denver. Since then, she has worked with clients in schools at Peace Days with Reading for Peace and has served on the Ambassador of Peace Committee for three years. Currently, Sue is chair of the Volunteer Committee. Graduating from Colorado College in 1957 with a BA in English, Sue worked in higher education administration for 20 years, first at the Colorado School of Mines, and most recently as Director of Admissions at Iliff School of Theology. Sue has extensive volunteer experience at a wide range of organizations, including Ethnic College Counseling Center and Jefferson County Mediation Service.

Madame Solutions
(on Workplace Conflict)

In my last column I promised to tell readers about “That’ll Cost You a Quarter.” The idea actually came from a corporate retreat. Executives were asked to contribute a dollar for every put down, insult or sarcastic remark made at another person’s expense. Well, I can tell you, they made a bundle!! Some even paid in advance to cover their bad habits. It’s so simple and easy to implement.

For years in my circle of friends and family, every time we put down another person we put a quarter in a jar. We pay double when we put down
ourselves, as this is especially destructive. The money goes to a favorite charity, TCC. After years of practice, we have become kinder and more aware of what comes out of our mouths… not always words to be proud of!

Jenn Zinn, a teacher in San Antonio reports: “I think we live in a time where sarcasm and putdowns run rampant, and this kind of activity can minimize them
successfully. I am a high school teacher and I have adapted the program myself for use with my freshmen who don't think about how hurtful their comments can be. I have already seen an improvement in their treatment of each other. ………………………………………….Yahoo!”

From our very own Liz Loescher: “All of us get in ruts...Many moons ago, my family found some 'hidden' sarcasm that was hurtful to the recipient. My quarters helped me change my behavior!” A similar program in the workplace is No Stingers offered by the Conflict Center. Can you imagine changing the environment of your office… no gossip, no sarcasm... increased productivity. Yes, a whole new world!

Remember to write to me about your successes and challenges with “That’ll Cost You a Quarter” and No Stingers. Your questions on other sticky issues are always welcome.So kiddos, make waves and make change happen.
Mme. Solutions

To submit a “workplace conflict” related question to Madame Solutions: Email your question to info@conflictcenter.org with “MadameSolutions” in the subject line.
Or, mail your question to: Madame Solutions, 4140 Tejon St., Denver, CO 80211

Parent to Parent

I want to thank you all at The Conflict Center and tell you how important you have been.

I found our about TCC through the Denver Public School that my son attends. I am a single mom and in the last year had 5 family members and their families move out of state. My son and I struggled with expressing our emotions as our family support system was now distant. The flyer in his folder arrived when I was feeling hopeless with the anger that he was directing towards me and my inability to say the things to make our home a kind and loving place. I had no idea that The Conflict Center was going to help me through every issue that I come across and every day how I communicate. I had no idea that I would gain so much confidence and address my self esteem.

Things that I found out about myself were not always easy to swallow... AS I look back, I see that first session as breaking the mold that I was raised in. At that time I wasn't ready to soak it all in and apply it. I then went on to take the Conflict Management Class, taught by Jean Luc. In this class, I saw how different personalities communicate and the steps of resolving conflict... I was confident that all of the staff and volunteers were gentle instructors with the knowledge to educate me in my quest. Again this class surprised me with the loads of information, handouts, role playing demonstrations, techniques and examples to take home and practice.

Next I am going to take the Anger Management Class, and I mentioned to Tammy that I may want to retake the Strengthening Foundations class again late this year. These classes are powerful and Denver would be a better place to live if everyone took these classes.

Thank you very much for everything.
Elizabeth Leaneagh

For more information on our Classes, click here.

Youth Spotlight
By Dustin Olde, Youth Programs Coordinator

Alexis Anthony is a 14 year-old freshman at Foothills Academy in Wheatridge doing an independent study on Conflict and Anger Management.

Alexis began her study by taking the Challenges Anger and Conflict Management class in January. “My proposal (for independent study) had the overarching question of how does anger affect people and how do people help others deal with their anger,” she explained. Alexis’ report will culminate with a 15-minute presentation for the rest of her class in May.

When asked what useful ideas she took from the class, she said, “I learned a new way to use the ‘I-message.’ When I first learned the I-message it had the word ‘you’ in it, which puts a person on defense. The class was really good and it helped.”

Since her class, Alexis has continued to work at TCC answering phones, helping with mailings and observing other Conflict Center classes.

Outside The Conflict Center Alexis participates in horseback riding, swimming and acting.

Kid's Corner
By Virginia Vobejda

Count how many squares you see in this picture. If you count 16 you are right. If you see 22, you are right. If you see 26 you are also right. There are many different solutions to a problem. Keep this in mind when thinking about how to manage conflict at home and at school. If you feel stuck, stop and brainstorm solutions. You’ll be surprised with the new possibilities that surface.

What can I do? Sometimes, there are very scary events happening in the world. If you or your family and friends feel worried or stressed, it helps to talk about how this affects us. Tell those you trust how you feel and voice your concerns. When you talk about the scary stuff, it helps make the fear smaller. When you talk about the good stuff, it helps make positive feelings grow bigger!

Our Star Volunteer

It’s a pleasure to recognize Ellen Stark who for the past 5 years, has created most of the graphic images which make The Conflict Center’s printed materials so attractive. Ellen came to us through D.U. as an Intern/ Consultant on our Public Relations Committee. She volunteered to help redesign The Conflict Center’s general brochure, and she’s been busy ever since! Ellen’s talents in graphic design have created beautiful pieces for our Garden Parties, the Ambassador of Peace events and the Conflict in the Workplace Conferences. She takes charge of the layout, the visual theme, the copywriting, and the proofing of invitations, fliers, programs, tickets, posters, envelopes, and brochures. Ellen always works with a cheerful “can-do” attitude, even when deadlines are fast approaching! You will often see an angel at Ellen’s side…that’s her six year-old daughter Emma. Ellen volunteers at Emma’s school, runs her own graphics business, and in her rare free time she loves to read or ski. The next time a beautiful communication from The Conflict Center arrives in your mailbox, think of Ellen Stark, our Star Volunteer.

Nominations for Annual Volunteer Recognition Awards

The time is here! Nominations for Annual Volunteer Recognition Awards mean you have the opportunity to honor the work of one/some or a group of our World's Best Volunteers. Nomination forms are available in the Volunteer office, or can be mailed or emailed to you, at your request. The nominations are due by April 4th to Sue Mitchell at The Conflict Center. Let's flood the Volunteer Committee with nominations, making their job of selecting recipients exciting and challenging!

Volunteer Appreciation Soiree

It's time to celebrate! At The Conflict Center we are all excited to acknowledge the many efforts, time, and talent of the World's Best Volunteers. Volunteers are encouraged to attend, bring a guest to share the afternoon with you and to introduce to The Conflict Center as we honor the many contributions of our terrific and world’s best year 2002 volunteers! The Conflict Center community reflects a diversity of many cultures! You are invited to contribute a few dozen of your favorite cookies to honor the work of volunteers as we celebrate National Volunteer Week. This invitation is open to anyone wanting to share a favorite or special recipe. Please call Isabel Alvarado Bailey at 303-988-6358 if you would like to participate in the festivities.

Volunteer Opportunities

• "Volunteer Introduction", Thursday, April 10, 3-5pm. Call 303-433-4983 and ask for the volunteer office to sign up.
• Training for Volunteers: "Anger Management". Monday, March 17, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Call 303-433-4983 and ask for the volunteer office to register.
• Assist Family Classes. Assist in Building Bridges (youth ages 12-18) and Strengthing Foundations (youth ages 5-11) on Thursday evenings. Your commitment would be four consecutive Thursdays, as these classes run for a month. Interested? Contact Dustin Olde at 303-433-4983.
  
• Join a Committee. Our exceptional Volunteer, Friends Membership, Garden Tour and Ambassador of Peace Award Event Committees are looking for new members. Call Mary at 303-433-4983 to get involved!
  
• Hold the date: For our enchanted Gardens of NW Denver Garden Tour Saturday, June 7. Host the gardens, sell lemonade, host at TCC ofices. For details, contact Chris Hamilton at 303-433-4983.
  
• Help Plan: We are planning now fo rthe Ambassador of Peace Award Dinner (October 16, 2003), our largest fundraising event. Please call Ronnie Weiss to offer your time and talents: 303-433-4983.
  

Upcoming Events

Volunteer Introduction
Thursday, April 10, 3-5pm
The Conflict Center

Volunteer Training: Anger Management
Monday, March 17, 6.30 - 8.30pm
The Conflict Center

Volunteer Appreciation Event
Sunday, April 27, 2-4pm
The Conflict Center

Enchanted Garden Tour
Saturday, June 7, 9am-2pm
$10 per person
Starts at The Conflict Center

Ambassador of Peace Award Presentation
Thursday, October 16

Community Outreach
By Laura Naranjo, Community Liaison

The North Denver Violence Prevention Committee (NDVPC) is a multi-agency, citizen collaboration committee that formed in 1996 during the KRMA TV 6 (now Rocky Mountain Public Television) Act Against Violence Campaign. The committee serves to build community support for violence prevention initiatives.

The NDVPC has collaborated on many projects, offering an ongoing dialogue with youth, seniors, agencies and government representatives. The NDVPC has also involved community stakeholders in the process of training in many areas of interest including the Community Outreach Citizen Collaboration Committee Denver District Attorney’s Community Accountability Boards (Restorative Justice), and The Conflict Center’s conflict and anger management programs.

As the NDVPC continues its peacemaking work, we are joined by the Southwest Denver and the East Denver Violence Prevention Committees whose memberships recognize the need for overall violence prevention skills. In partnership with the Violence Prevention Committees, The Conflict Center is facilitating the process of personal and interpersonal nonviolent problem solving as a means of building peaceful communities. For more news please call Laura at: 303.433-4983 extension 26.

TCC Marches on MLK Day

A group of TCC staff, volunteers, and peace pets gathered to participate in the Marade held in honor of Martin Luther King on January 20th. The march began at City Park and proceeded down Colfax Ave to Civic Center park. The day was a great celebration of peace. Those pictured include Will Burt, Dustin Olde, Ron Ludwig, Sue Mitchell, Brandi Rieger, Stephanie Winfield, and other TCC volunteers.

View our current class schedule