Clinical depression is a medical concern that needs professional attention from medical and mental health professionals. This article is not considering depression at that level, though there may be some helpful tips for those persons. This article concerns itself with the very pervasive sense of “the blues” that many of us have during the holiday season.

 

We are so pressured to have fun, celebrate, and enjoy the festivities at this time of year. The expectation is that everyone should be happy and excited and bubbly. These expectations of joy are not the reality for many people during the holidays.

 

Our holidays and family gatherings often are significant reminders of what has gone wrong in our lives, of grief and loss, of disappointment. These realities create a sense of depression and unhappiness that clash in the midst of reminders to be overjoyed. Then we get caught in a cycle of guilt for not feeling happy.

 

Our anxiety about visiting and meeting family, negotiating relationships around divorced families, and too many things to do all eat away at our intended joy of the holiday. Stress rises and tempers flare with the additional holiday pressures. Depression is often the outcome.

 

An important starting place in dealing with this lack of joy is simply to acknowledge it. Become aware of the stress, the sadness, the depression. Be able to name the frame of mind that you are in. After naming the emotions, you have an opportunity to decide how you will deal with these feelings. Will you talk to someone? Will you write down your thoughts? Will you find a healthy outlet and form of expression for these emotions? What will you say to yourself in your own mind? Find thoughts that empower you and give you peace. Angry thoughts will only exacerbate the negative emotions. Forgiveness of self and others is a powerful way to move out of anger and negativity.

December 2008

Dealing with Depression or “the Blues” during the Holidays

By Vickie Samland

 

Letting go of unhealthy feelings moves one to a place of healing.

 

Simply telling yourself that it is okay to have feelings of sadness and not be obligated to the expectations of happiness which are so often facile and false for persons is empowering.

 

Be genuine about your emotions. They are a valid part of who you are and your experience. But also know that any of these emotions are changeable and not permanent. We have great power to shift our emotional state. Suppressing emotions is not healthy, staying blue or depressed is not healthy. But giving these emotions some time to be felt is important, and conversely, moving on to more productive emotions is important too.   Finding joy in the simplest of things is almost always available if you look closely and carefully—smiles, touches, sounds, the natural world.

 

Doing this in your own time is vital and necessary; being held hostage to the cultural expectations of happiness for the holidays is not.

 

Take time to recognize the emotions, be open to them, and be open to how you wish to change the emotions. You have more control than you may recognize over how you choose to emotionally experience this holiday period.